you think you'll run away with my dreams. i laugh at this inside, but i am cowering. toe to toe, head down, pale, sick. this is what you see. this is who you have come to believe that i am. add your opinions, those low sunken words that trail out of your mouth in a series of whispers. subtract intelligence. i may be blind, but i can feel. my heightened sense of awareness puts me in this state you would call 'horrid.' i never claimed it would be beautiful. the word 'beauty' enters my mind so rarely it would seem i had forgotten its meaning. maybe i have. i can't help it if my eyes have been turned inside out and the skin on my ears has grown over the entrance to leave blackness - nothing but the deafening carousel of thoughts in my head.. and this feeling. could i make you understand this feeling? could you dig deep enough, put aside all the distractions, your noise, your perfection, your BEAUTY? could you find something meaningful, worthwhile.. something of actual substance under the foundation that is constantly seeping into your pores? i used to wonder, to hope. i used to take these chances as quick as they came. i fed information bit by tiny fucking bit. i put sheer energy into educating this lost generation. what do you think i found? no, really. take your best guess. more foundation and a pretty pair of blue jeans.