wish i could do something cool too. impress them all with my brains or my determination, my creativity and originality. or maybe i'd be happy if it was just my casual walk and goofy smile that made them think big thoughts of me. i don't know but i see this all in you. the last person i would ever think of at the end of the day is suddenly at the front of my mind, strangely the obvious choice and it's been staring me down for years. and wouldn't that be a beautiful love story if it were that simple? i've been trying to rid myself of my unnatural lust and my attempts have been unsuccessful. i feel that this is my only hope. my last chance at ever being normal. but it won't happen. you won't happen to me. because things like that just don't work out for people like me.. people who can't say no. people with too much to say. people who can't just shut the fuck up and enjoy the silence when it's needed. but even so, you'll remain in my mind. and you will never know that i'm thinking of you because i will never let it show. and i will never let it show because i know your answer. and i know your answer because i've already made a fool of me and everyone who knows me. really, this sucks. but somehow i am above you because i know that it would work and you would never even think of it. or probably i'm just coming up with ways to make myself seem better. i think i do this a lot. i also think i let the subject shift to me much too often. i promise to work on this and will inform you of my progress at a later date.